love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks