if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you