This is not my ceiling
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳