ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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