the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
