I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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