saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I puked a lego.
it hurts more in the daytime
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i think my cat just said my name.
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