Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...