wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.