I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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