Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
