he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
