when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
