she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
They have beer where we have blood.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
