He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
