how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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