My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
