I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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