Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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