She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize