new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize