a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Randomize
