were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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