so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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