White coat. Heels.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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