Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
A+ Viking dick
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize