Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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