So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
