Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
