Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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