her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started