he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
