Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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