Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Randomize
