Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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