stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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