I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
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Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize