Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
