I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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