You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
