Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
