No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
