Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize