Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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