I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
