It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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