I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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