yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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