Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
