Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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