She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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