When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The adults are the big ones right?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
