i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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