You really coming over, don't trick.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
