I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
