Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
