hotel room ftw
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
