Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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