chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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