We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
