Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Small penises have feelings too.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
