good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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